think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
