I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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