This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im holly from the hills drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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