I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize