they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize