So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i dont even know how to be here
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
