How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
