i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
