You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this will be a night to untag.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
