So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So apparently I’m into choking now
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