I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
