I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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