Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just had sex on a roof
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
