video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
