he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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