"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
