What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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