I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize