he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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