I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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