he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
