I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
