I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
