Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
