Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
