Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
