Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
