"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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