Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
