my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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