I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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