FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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