I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
