Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
