I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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