New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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