speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
