just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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