Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
