Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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