I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
