Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize