I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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