I'm jealous of your bromance
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
