I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
