Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize