Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
