adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
