I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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