I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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