he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
