the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
