Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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