Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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