Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
