ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
