Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
