a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
