I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize