Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
