This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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