with your own penis?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
