you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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