Where is the hickey?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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