Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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