So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
